piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
