he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
