it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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