thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
