I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
