but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
