his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
