She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
