So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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