saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
