I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
