you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
