Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I've blown a few things in my day
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
