The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
