so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
