This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
