Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
