He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
