Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
