if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
