The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
