mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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