Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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