I wish I could punch you in the face.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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