Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
