we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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