In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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