Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You were trust falling into bushes
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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