How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
