I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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