my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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