it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
