I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
