I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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