your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
