loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
