hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
