sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
