If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
