it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
