Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
