I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
