I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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