Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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