I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
