i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
