I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
We got so high we made milksteak
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
