You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
