Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We don't watch enough power rangers
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
