just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just found puke in my bra..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
